I need a chance in my life.

I need a change in my life. I don’t feel good mentally and physically. I am suffering the most severe and devastating censorship in history for many years. Do you know what is suffering the most severe and devastating censorship in history for many years? Tomorrow morning I am going to phone the surgery to ask for an appointment with a doctor to see if life changes for the better with antidepressants. I am unemployed at the moment and I am looking for a job as a chef. I can work during the night because the salary is better. I am a good worker and i can make all meals, i know the business well. I am depressed and being me is not easy. I am deeply hurt. I am recovering. I am a recovering addict. I am a psychologist and economist and rational thinker and artist and person of many talents. If you haven’t heard from me is because I am censored. I am trying to get better mentally and physically. I don’t feel like doing anything. I just want to rest and escape. Reality is tough. People are the way they are. I am looking for good people, open minded people. A workmate in my previous job said to me that I could benefit, because he was benefiting, taking the antidepressant Mirtazapine. He wrote in a piece of paper that he gave to me “Mirtazapine 15mg”. I need something to cheer me up, to make me optimist and to perceive reality differently. I need to not be depressed. When I experience the raw reality i become irritated, angry, i have to control those emotions, I have to behave, I have to keep my head cool, I have to tolerate what i don’t like. I have to tolerate what should not be tolerated. Why people don’t understand? I am a poet, I am searching for peace. I am a normal person with knowledge. I am the good guy in the movie. I am not understood. And to understand only you have to understand i claim I have discovered knowledge. After discovering knowledge what is the right channel? I want the knowledge to be checked or peer-reviewed or analyzed. I want my claim to be attended. I want my claim to be examined. I am a person.  I am something and I count. I am human and I count. I count because I am free in captivity. I decide and choose. What is the right channel or door to take this loving poem to?. I am tired and i need to work. Please listen, i claim i have discovered the nature of addiction, God, money, the atheist logical fallacy and more. I am a great mind. My truth is atheism is a logical fallacy that assumes God is the religious idea of the creator of the creation to conclude wrongly no creator exists because a particular idea of God doesn’t exist. I know i am right like Spinoza knew he was right. Reality is not what it seems. The Holocaust nazi and the Second World War and the Soviet Union and the war in the war happens now after Spinoza discovered the nature of God centuries ago. Thank you.