I want to send this message to humanity and disappear

I want to send this message to humanity and disappear. I know God exists and I can explain. I need a truce. I have been trying to overcome the most severe and devastating censorship in history for many years and I am tired. I will explain why God exists briefly and I will disappear. You will not hear from me again. I failed. I live to breathe air. I live to exist. I live to occupy time and space. I am free. I choose my life. I choose to teach humanity why God exists to avoid tragedies. The past can not be changed. I don’t understand how I am in the situation i am now. I can’t not believe my reality. I am depressed and demoralized. I am still standing. I am recovering addict. I don’t mind to live the rest of my life in prison with regular visits from loved ones. I am a psychologist and more and I am getting stick. You are witnessing I am getting stick. How tough am I? Am I soft or hard mentally?. How much did I accomplished? Time will tell. The results are the only that matter. What Spinoza accomplished? How Spinoza changed the world? And me? Nothing. Zero. And your children?. The situation is not good. Why the situation is not good? Who failed? Who is responsible? Thank you.