Sometimes I feel I want to go back to the mental hospital

Sometimes I feel I want to go back to the mental hospital, to have a rest. To be helped and help. But who pays the bills?. I have savings, I got sent money from Spain. But without working and having a life money goes fast. All hospitals should have a proper kitchen or kitchens to eat well, at least eat well. Eating is everything because eating is our health and enjoyment. When I was in the mental hospital I ordered sometimes takeaways, that breaks the monotonous food I was given for free. Why not to have a proper kitchen that sells food to the patients, so you don’t have to order takeaways. The space to play is small. We had a small garden, to kick a ball, there was a ping-pong table with raquets. It can not be that expensive to run a mental hospital. What i saw i didn’t like. I remember after being released leaving shouting angry the word “shithole”. I kept asking when i was there, “what do you think about this place?”, “is it helping, how?”. They give for 1 pound nice books, why not to have the biggest library in the world in a psychiatrist hospital?. Why not to have also a basketball and goalies, even a tennis court. I would like to play tennis. I am ok playing tennis. With a regular training i defend myself. The backhand let’s me down but with the forehand I am ok. From time to time if I hit to break the raquet i put a winner. Basically a mental hospital is to change your life, yourself, to be out to have a better life. A mental hospital is to have a break, meet people. I met so many interesting people in the mentally hospital. All the people in the mental hospital are interesting. Each person is different. If you are in a mental hospital and you don’t understand everyone is the same you are blind. Life is tough, parents and people are the way the are. I made kind of friends, I learnt psychology in the mental hospital. People are very reserved in a mental hospital. People are closed in a mental hospital. Each person has his own problems, has his own mistakes, failures, victimhood. I can go back there to teach. My knowledge can only help. I would change so much in the mental hospital I was as a patient. It’s cheap stuff. I would like to know how much money cost to run that public hospital. I would live with the patients to talk to eat nice, to play cards, to have la dolce vita. For me to have la dolce vita is cheap. Board games, how much cost to have the biggest collection of board games, all kind of games, role playing games. I was there with the same people everyday for 28 days, so why not organize a role playing game?. For me it was a good and tragical experience at the same time. Some people may create trouble, like i witnessed, some people could be violent. Do you feel threatened if you mind your business in a mental hospital?. Sometimes I fantasize with ending up in prison, with visits, to see and meet interesting people. Everywhere you go you meet interesting people. A life is a life, a story is a story. Everyone is special because we are reality interacting, everyone influences or changes reality. It’s all the same reality transforming. If you understand you know you are real and you existed. Whatever happens you existed and you mattered. I am not understood clearly. Thank you.