I am on antidepressants

I am on antidepressants kind of out of desperation and courtesy for others and I want to know what the medicine does because I don’t feel anything. I am on 20mg of Citalopram daily for God knows how long and I need to know what good this pill is doing to me. Who of you is on antidepressants?, how do you benefit with the medicine, makes you feel more optimistic, how?. It has no power. How were the trials for the Citalopram done?. I don’t say it to sound arrogant or upset you with my successes in life but I am the greatest psychologist, economist and more of all time and I am unemployed looking for a job and waiting to be nominated for a Nobel Prize i deserve unarguably. I you understand you are infinitely important. I can not live like this and I can not die like this. Thank you.